Leaving SF: Living on the Edge of the Mystery

After 10 years in San Francisco, I gave up my apartment to go on the road, indefinitely.

One morning a few months back, I was sitting on my rooftop writing a post about the importance of paying attention to what sits beneath our fears and limiting beliefs.

I was explaining how each of us intrinsically knows what we need to grow, but how our limiting beliefs can mute and mask opportunities for growth that are right in front of us, in an effort to keep us safe.

As I reviewed what I wrote, I realized that I wasn’t following my own advice.

For months I had been getting signals that it was time to leave San Francisco and set a new experience in motion: I hadn’t been functioning at the high level of energy I’m used to. Working in a 5’ x 5’ workspace was leading to lethargy. It was harder for me to access the level of enthusiasm and creativity I feel through my work.

Something about my current experience just wasn’t suiting me.

And I realized that instead of paying attention to these signals, I’d been clinging tightly to a safer set of circumstances.

I sat with this new information and tried to see it for what it was.

Even though I could envision my future self exploring new places, there was a part of me that still wanted to hold on tightly to my present reality - my routines, the familiar patterns, the habits I’d established over a decade of being stationary.

I realized I’d been dismissing the signals and made up some very convincing stories about why it was irresponsible to be mobile right now: You own your own business, you should have a stable home base. People will question your judgment. That’s something someone in their 20s would do. You need to be more disciplined and fight through the desire to leave.

It became clear that the stories and beliefs I was clinging to were a version of me that wanted to hold onto the mindset, lifestyle, and routines that had gotten me this far.

It was a version of me that wanted to remain in a well-defined band of growth where I could anticipate everything.

It was a version of me that wanted to stay mediocre - because mediocre is safe.

By staying mediocre, that meant I didn’t have to engage with the part of me that desired expansiveness, explosive growth, and new opportunities - because that meant confronting the unknown that comes with pursuing a different reality.

I realized that in order to transcend the current version of me, I had to start by letting go. There’s only so much space we can hold at once - and the space I was holding wasn’t allowing me room for anything new.

I went back to some journaling I had done a few years before, right around the time I decided to leave my corporate job and start my first business.

Remembering back, I started that business to experience freedom, mobility, adventure, creativity, opportunity, and the excitement that comes along with blazing a new and unique path.

I had forgotten some of those core beliefs.

It was time to get them back.

So I made the decision to give up my apartment, put my things in storage, and go on the road, for as long as I want.

I wondered how I’d feel the day I moved, whether I’d have any regret about giving it all up. But as I drove away from my apartment, heading down Franklin Street for the last time, a sense of relief, excitement, and freedom raced through me. It’s a feeling I think we all should have the chance to experience.

Now, I’m traveling with what I can fit in my trunk and towing my motorcycle along for the ride.

I put no boundaries on how long I’ll be on this path or where I’ll go. I want to see how it feels to let go of what I think I should do and focus on following my intuition instead.

I want to be quiet, listen, and be spontaneously pulled in a direction. I want to show myself that not everything has to be planned.

As I sit here now, I can only call to mind 5 things that are in my storage unit. The rest I can’t even remember.

That reaffirms for me something that I’ve always known to be true: the things I own mean very little to me. And they immediately become insignificant the moment I take them out of my line of sight.

I’m sure when I go back for them almost all of it will be obsolete to me. I know I’ll be a different person then.

I’m using this time to both dive deep into growing my business and remember what it means to play and have fun - they both bring me joy and amplify one another.

I’m living something that I want to reinforce for myself and share with others: my belief that there’s an incredible amount of opportunity on the other side of being uncomfortable.

If we can be courageous enough to willingly sit inside of our uncomfortableness - and treat it as our servant, not our master - there’s wisdom and growth and expansiveness waiting for us on the other end.

I want to continue to learn how to run towards the uncomfortable, not hide from it.

There’s a spiritual teacher named Ram Dass who says that we each can learn how to experience life as adventurers living on the edge of “The Mystery.”

For me, this means living each day straddling the line between being an active participant in the things we can influence while having the wisdom to listen for and move toward things that we can’t understand but believe are calling us - and treating it all like one big adventure.

I’m living mine. And I hope through my work I can help you live yours.

Acting on the best information you have

Sometimes the process of decision making can keep us trapped in a never ending loop between trying to predict the future and reliving the past.

On the one hand, we can be paralyzed by decision because we envision a future version of events where our choice ends up backfiring.

On the other hand, we can be trapped by the regret we feel about decisions we’ve made in the past.

But here’s what we have to remember: all we can ever do is act on the best information we have, in this moment.

Instead of getting caught up in trying to predict what might happen in the future or in reliving the past, our job is to approach decision making with a present intention.

Making a decision with intention means we operate from a present place of clarity, gathering as much information as we can, in this moment, and letting go of any judgment or anxiety we feel during the process.

Although we certainly can use prior experience and our vision for the future to inform our decision, we’re not controlled by the fear or regret that may come with exploring them.

They’re simply data points we can use, among others, to make a decision with intention.

Making a decision from a place of intention can be challenging because it often requires us to dig below the interference caused by the fear we associate with the potential to make a “wrong” decision.

But below this interference is the kind of information that helps us act with clarity and confidence.

Try this:

If you find yourself stuck in the middle a decision, remember that all you can do is act on the best information you have, in the moment.

How can you ever make a “wrong decision” if it’s based on what you know at the time?

Over time, the more decisions you make with intention the better you become at gathering information.

You become skilled at searching the present moment for clear indicators that are uninhibited by fear or regret.

When you make decisions with intention, you shed the emotions that cloud your judgment and interfere with your innate ability to choose confidently and own your decision.

Go have a great workday.

Honor your fear

Fear is something to be honored.

The natural resistance we feel in connection with fear is a signal that we’ve encountered an opportunity to grow past limitations to our current mindset, abilities, or beliefs.

Because sitting with our fear is such an uncomfortable experience, our natural inclination is to push it away.

It feels so counter to who we are - like something that’s working against us - that we’ll do anything to stay disconnected from it.

But instead of looking at fear as something that’s working against us, we have the ability to shift our view of fear to that of a natural force that’s working in our favor.

We can choose to honor fear and see it as a vehicle that helps us transcend our current limitations.

Think about a time you overcame a fearful moment. If we search our past, we know from experience that on the other side of such moments are some of the most meaningful opportunities and experiences we’ve ever had.

Despite knowing this, we still struggle to face our fear head-on because doing so always forces us to confront the unknown.

In other words, even though we know from experience that there is something of value waiting for us on the other side, we don’t know exactly what it is or how long it will take us to get there.

And that lack of understanding causes us to reject fear rather than embrace it.

Try this:

Managing and transcending fear is a life-long pursuit - it’s a multi-layered progression that unfolds over time and is resistant to quick fixes.

But one way we can better understand fear is to honor it for what it is: a signal that opportunity is in front of us.

It’s part of our natural progression, and something we can learn to lean into, and not away from.

The next time you’re experiencing a fearful moment, look to your past experience for guidance and proof that there is something meaningful on the other side of fear.

If you can let go of your desire to know exactly what that is or when it will arrive, you’ll start to change your relationship with the process for the better.

Honor your fear. Don’t push it away.

Go have a great workday.

You don’t need to be an expert to get started

Sometimes we get caught up in thinking that we have to “know more,” “practice longer”, or “be more prepared” before we can get started.

When we have a desire to begin something new - starting a new job, changing a career path, learning an advanced skill, or hatching an idea - there’s a natural tendency to want to reach a certain threshold of knowledge or experience before fully committing.

But here’s two things to consider:

First, we’re often more prepared and ready to start much sooner than we think.

It's not our lack of knowledge, skill, or ability, that causes us to feel unready.

It’s our fear of committing to something with an unknown outcome that tells us to stay put. It tells us to hang out in a safe place and wait until we’re a little better prepared.

Consider a time when you were hesitant to start something new - but as soon as you jumped in, you got the hang of it much faster than you thought.

That’s because when we put ourselves in a position where we’ve committed, our brain starts to rely on our ability to adapt and adjust.

When we no longer have the safety net that comes with not being all in, and when we no longer hide behind “I’ll start later,” that’s when we begin to learn what we need to make the new thing a success.

We possess the innate ability to adapt - but we can’t realize how strong that ability truly is until we’re forced to rely on it.

Second, remember that there are benefits to being a “novice.”

When you’re a novice, it means you look at things differently than an “expert” would. You bring a fresh eye that’s not influenced by tradition or convention.

When I started my first business, I knew nothing about how to run or grow one.

And even though that initial lack of expertise resulted in challenges, what I “didn’t know” ended up being one of my greatest assets.

My novice status helped me shape my ideas and a way of running my business that was different - something unique, something that was and continues to be true to who I am.

I wasn’t completely influenced by how it was “supposed” to be done, which allowed me to create something new.

Remember that it’s ok to approach starting a new job, career, or business with the mindset of a novice.

It allows you to move forward in a way that aligns with your unique vision.

Try this:

If you’ve been sitting on the sideline waiting for the “perfect time,” or until you get “more experience,” consider what it would be like to just get started.

Just getting started means you commit to taking an action step with the understanding that while you may not be an expert, you possess the innate ability to adapt - and that’s enough to begin.

Every time you take a small action step, you learn something that will give you the perspective you need to take the next action.

You don’t need to be an expert to get started. You just need to commit to starting.

Go have a great workday.

Giving in is not giving up

There’s usually a moment each day where we come to a decision point about whether we should keep “doing things” - or just be done.

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to keep moving, keep fitting it in, keep pushing.

And when making this decision, we can be influenced by the stories we’ve heard about what it means to be successful: how successful people never quit, burn the midnight oil, and stop at nothing to achieve what they want.

But when we reach this decision point, we should also consider that “giving in” is not the same as “giving up.”

In other words, having the presence of mind to know when you need to rest is ultimately a testament to your commitment, not a sign of a lack of resolve or dedication.

Making an active choice in that moment to listen to what your mind and body need is a strength, not a sign of weakness.

It turns out that we have a finite supply of willpower each day - and sometimes in order to show up at our best tomorrow, we have to go all in on “being done” today.

Try this:

The next time you reach this decision point - Should I keep going or just be done? - take an honest assessment of where you are in that moment.

If you decide you have the ability to keep going, then keep going. But if you decide it’s time to be done, that’s ok too.

The key is to listen for what you need, judgment free.

Go have a great workday.

What your “future self” would tell you

One way to navigate a challenging moment is to envision what your “future self” would tell you about how to approach that challenge.

Oftentimes, when we’re struggling to figure out how to move through uncertainty or something difficult, we get so caught up in the details that we lose sight of the bigger picture.

We forget that we actually do know ways we can help ourselves through difficult times.

That intuition and knowledge, though, is often buried beneath the emotions, anxiety, and limiting beliefs we hold about that particular challenge.

Consider this: have you ever had someone come to you with a problem that you’re experiencing yourself, and after giving them some advice you end up having the realization that the same advice might work for you?

When we look at “other people’s” challenges, we do so through a lens that’s not clouded by emotion or internal struggles.

It allows us to view and process circumstances with a clearer, deeper level of understanding.

Try this:

Identify a major challenge you’re faced with right now that you’re having a hard time navigating through.

Imagine for a moment that your “future self” is giving you advice on how to approach this situation.

In other words, picture yourself months or years down the road and on the other side of this challenge.

What would your future self tell you about the best way to navigate through this challenge?

Ask and write down answers to the following: What steps did I take, who did I connect with, what mindset helped me get through it, what routines did I adopt, what information did I learn that made it easier for me to navigate?

After answering these questions, write down two actions you can take right now that will help you approach this challenge with intention.

Approaching challenges using the advice of your “future self” helps you call in a level of wisdom that is inside of you already, but that may be hidden behind fear and self-doubt.

We know more about what we need than we think.

Go have a great workday.

Managing “decision regret”

When we’ve made a decision, one thing that prevents us from being present and confident with our choice is our tendency to experience decision regret.

As soon as we experience friction in connection with a decision, our mind tends to romanticize what it would have been like had we made a different choice.

It tells us that the “other” reality - the one we didn’t choose - would have been much better.

We beat up on ourselves for not having made the “right” choice.

And we do this all day long with decisions we make, both big and small.

But consider this:

Our longing for what it would have been like to experience ”the other options” is really a projection of an alternate, romanticized reality based purely on assumptions.

It may appear that the “other options” would have been better, but we have no basis in reality to assume or believe it would have actually turned out that way.

Our minds take us there because the thought of what it would have been like to make these other choices feels safe and comfortable.

We can make up any story we want about how great that alternate reality would have been because we tend to leave out the friction we would have encountered had we chosen another option.

When we’re caught up in decision regret, we lose the ability to own our decisions - as well as every other decision that comes after it.

In other words, every moment we spend sitting in regret about a past decision is a moment we can’t devote to making an informed decision about what do to next.

Try this:

If you want to shift your mindset around decisions, start by recognizing when you’re sitting in a place of decision regret.

Catch yourself when you’re looking back at a decision and beating up on yourself for a past choice.

Next, when you catch yourself experiencing decision regret, shift your focus toward this concept: How can I make my next decision based on the best information I have at that moment?

Instead of letting your mind take you to a place where you’re paralyzed by the fear that you’ll make a wrong decision, remind yourself that all you can ever do is make a decision based on the best information you have at the time.

Remember that you can’t evaluate a past decision based on a current set of information. These two different realities will never sync up.

When you realize all you can ever do is make a decision based on where you are in that moment, then you can access a deeper understanding of who you are and what you need, in that moment.

You flip from being a passive participant and feeling paralyzed by fear to someone who is actively trying to gather as much information as possible so that you can make the next decision with confidence.

Shift your focus from regret to what you’ve learned.

When you internalize what you’ve learned and start to rely on your instincts, the decisions make themselves.

Go have a great workday.

Caught up in other people’s success stories

Sometimes when we hear the success stories of other people we get caught up in thinking that our story and our professional path may not take us where we want to go.

Many of the stories we hear about successful people involve some sensational turning point or event - a defining moment, an act of grandeur, or a stroke of luck that solidified their path to the top.

We can dramatize the success stories of other people in such a way that it makes us feel like what we’re doing each and every day isn’t good enough, big enough, bold enough, or moving fast enough.

The stories can make us feel like we’ll never have what it takes to experience that level of success.

But there are plenty of people who you’ve never heard of before who have achieved incredible levels of success by way of a relatively steady, incremental progression.

Their success stories are not defined by grandeur but rather by consistent practices, faith in their ability, and the courage to show up every day and pursue their own path with intention.

Listening to the success stories of others is important and a healthy way to gain new insights or inspiration.

But we have to remember that each of us has our own path to blaze.

Just because your path doesn’t match the trajectory of someone you admire or respect, that doesn’t mean you aren’t well on your way to your own success.

Try this:

If you find yourself comparing your story to the success story of someone else, remember that we each have a unique approach and path to take.

Your path doesn’t need to be glamorous, profile-worthy, or fast-tracked in order to work.

Focus on how you can design your path with intention and in a way that matches your unique abilities and vision.

Avoid comparing your path to that of someone else.

Invest your energy in your own story.

Go have a great workday.

Silent benefactors

Here’s something that’s easy to forget: our day-to-day work changes the lives of the people around us.

People are impacted by the efforts we make, what we say, and the way we conduct ourselves.

The challenge, though, is that we almost never know how big of an impact we’re making because it’s not something we can easily quantify.

It’s hard to measure the strength of our impact because many people don’t communicate how much we’ve influenced or helped them.

In other words, even though our work may be changing the lives of the people around us, that feedback may never reach us for one reason or another.

And when we don’t receive that feedback, it can be easy to think that our workday efforts are for nothing, that no one is listening, or that no one is noticing.

But we have to remember that just because we aren’t receiving direct affirmations, that doesn’t mean our work isn’t impactful.

We have silent benefactors all around us whose lives are impacted each and every day by the work we do.

Our efforts create a ripple effect that’s hard to appreciate or quantify, but that reaches far outside of our immediate awareness.

Of course, it would be great to see and hear the results of our efforts in real time.

But if we’re not regularly getting that feedback, it doesn’t mean our work isn’t valuable or is going unnoticed.

Try this:

If you feel like your work isn’t making an impact on others, take a moment to reconsider that assumption.

Bring to mind someone who has given you positive feedback. Then consider how many people you’ve probably influenced in a similar way but who may not have not told you so for one reason or another.

Also consider how you may be a silent benefactor of someone else’s work. Look for opportunities to verbalize the impact they’ve had on you.

We don’t need to wait for major developments to put this concept into practice.

A simple comment like “This helped me today, thanks a lot”, goes a long way.

Go have a great workday.

What helps you show up at your best?

What helps you show up at your best?

It’s interesting how when things get busy, or when we feel stress or pressure, often our first instinct is to go into panic mode.

We abandon the things that help us show up at our best and edge ourselves out of the equation.

And we justify it in the name of work or clients or taking care of other people first.

But if you think about it, the best thing you can do for your family, your friends, your colleagues, and your community is to prioritize the things that help you consistently show up at your best.

Sometimes we feel guilty about putting ourselves first.

But the truth is that it’s not just ok for us to do this - it’s an absolute necessity.

When we prioritize what we need, we amplify our ability to help others.

The people around you don’t want you to show up as a lesser version of yourself.

They not only want you to show up at your best, they’re counting on you to do it.

Try this:

We spend very little time thinking about what we actually need to function day to day.

As a starting point, ask:

• What helps me take care of my body and mind?

• What brings me clarity?

• What helps me be the best version of myself?

The more you keep the answers to these questions top of mind, the easier it will be for you to spot opportunities throughout your day to put them into practice.

This concept is not all or nothing. Even small amounts of time - three to five minute spurts here and there, for example - can make a meaningful impact on how you move through your day.

Remember: you’re not only allowed to do this, you must do this.

Everyone around you wants you to show up at your best.

Go have a great workday.

Parkinson’s Law

Cyril Northcote Parkinson was a British Naval Historian and author who’s credited with an important adage that eventually became known as Parkinson’s Law:

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

In other words, the amount of time we give ourselves to perform work will be the amount of time it takes us to complete that work.

If we enter the day giving ourselves an open-ended amount of time to work, we’re more likely to keep finding reasons to just continue to work.

Without structure, we’re not forced to concentrate as hard, projects or workdays drag on for longer than they should, and our work is much less focused.

However, when we create boundaries around our workday or work periods, we’re much more likely to spend that time in a state of focus, and more likely to complete our work in that condensed time period.

A simple way to think about this is in the context of a deadline.

When we’re up against a deadline - even though we sometimes wish we had more time - we almost always find a way to complete what we have to complete.

That’s because we approach our work with a deeper sense of focus when we create boundaries.

Boundaries are a helpful way to compress our work into well-defined time periods.

Try this:

Use this concept to add structure to your workday.

Instead of beginning the day by saying “I'm going to work on this project this afternoon,” instead say “I’m going to work on this project from 1:30 - 3:30.”

In other words, don’t start a work period without first establishing a boundary.

Being intentional about structure leads to more intentional action.

Go have a great workday.

What have I been doing well?

Think for a moment about how much of your day you spend reviewing what’s gone “wrong.”

As we move through a workday, it’s easy for our attention to be drawn to what needs to be fixed, what we could have done better, or where we’ve fallen a little short.

When we look at our day this way, we miss important opportunities to acknowledge and celebrate the things we’ve been doing well or that turned out the way we hoped.

Having the presence of mind to identify and change something that needs improvement is certainly a valuable skill.

But it’s equally if not more important to be the kind of person who can recognize and celebrate things that don’t need to be changed, that don’t need to be improved, and that are working the way that they should be.

We have to spend time recognizing the previous challenges we’ve overcome that now contribute to the clarity, confidence and knowledge we have today.

What’s the point of trying to improve yourself and your workday if you’re not taking the time to acknowledge how much you’ve progressed?

That’s one of the most valuable parts of our day-to-day work: the ability to sit in pockets of time and express gratitude for what we’ve accomplished and who we are right now.

Try this:

When you catch yourself identifying something that needs to be “fixed” today, take a moment to recall and just sit with something you’ve accomplished instead.

Remember that we don’t need to wait for the “big” accomplishments to do this.

It’s the daily, moment to moment achievements that, in the end and in the aggregate, are the most important and meaningful.

Go have a great workday.

From competitive to creative

Take a moment to think about how you perceive the concept of opportunity.

How do you approach (or have you approached) things like finding a new job, getting a promotion, getting into the school you want, signing a new client, or coming up with a new idea for a business you want to start?

We’ve all been conditioned to view these opportunities through the lens of competition.

In other words, we tend to believe that there is a limited supply of opportunities - and so we think that the only way to acquire what we want is to compete for it.

Our mind tells us to believe that there is only so much of it to go around.

And when we believe there is only a finite supply of opportunities, that impacts the way we pursue them.

But there’s another way to view opportunity: through the lens of a creator.

Unlike a competitor, a creator believes there is both an unlimited supply of opportunity and that they have the ability to create them.

A creator doesn’t believe they must compete with someone else in order to access opportunity and live a full life.

A creator is free because they are not forced to make decisions about their path based on the paths or actions of others.

Here’s another way to think about it:

If the source motivation for what you’re seeking is premised on the idea that you’re constantly in competition for a limited supply, then your ability to grow and pursue those opportunities will be constrained by the limitations that you believe exist.

If you always believe that there is only so much opportunity to go around, then you’re restricted to a very limited set of circumstances in which you can live and operate.

Try this:

If you want to move toward a creator’s mindset:

Start by honing in on one opportunity you want to pursue where you believe you’re operating from a place of competition, and where a creative mindset would suit you better.

Then ask the question: What can I do to move from focusing on competition to focusing on creativity?

Remember that when you use a competitive mindset, it creates the dynamic of “You vs. Everyone.” It ties the limits of your potential to what other people are doing.

Finally, remind yourself that there are an infinite number of opportunities.

This is the hardest part to believe because we get caught up in thinking at a microscopic level each day.

Our moment to moment experiences shield us from seeing the enormous amount of opportunity that exists outside of what’s in our immediate field of vision.

Try on for size the idea that you’re not limited to a narrow set of circumstances that you may have been using to view the world to this point.

Boundless opportunities exist. And each of us has the ability to access them.

Go have a great workday.

When you measure, you learn the truth

When you measure, you learn the truth.

Measurement is essential to our personal and professional growth because it allows us to gauge our progress and determine our next steps.

We can’t know if we’re on track to achieve the outcome we want unless we measure.

Sometimes we’re afraid to measure because it forces us to confront our setbacks, unmet expectations, or unachieved goals.

Or we avoid measurement because we aren’t willing, in that moment, to confront the truth about our own progress.

But measurement is an essential lens through which we have to view our own development.

Without it, we can easily continue to take actions that don’t align with the outcomes we want.

Or worse yet, we continue to convince ourselves that we’re making more progress than we actually are.

Try this:

Consider important areas in your personal or professional life where you tend to avoid measurement: things like timelines you must meet, goals you’ve set, your health and wellness, or the financial status of your business.

If you feel a resistance to measurement, remind yourself that the sooner you measure the sooner you will know the truth.

And knowing the truth will allow you to process the current situation with clarity, formulate new thoughts, and take decisive actions that align with your new plan.

Yes, what you learn from measuring might sting.

But confronting those results is a necessary part of growth.

So measure more often.

Go have a great workday.

Sharpening the axe

Abraham Lincoln once said:

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I’ll spend the first four sharpening the axe.”

In other words, our work becomes easier when we spend time planning and preparing with intention.

Sometimes we’re tempted to just skip over planning altogether and dive head first into our workday.

Planning can feel like more work or an additional step. Or our anxiety about all that we must get done drags us into the day before we’re ready to get started.

When we skip planning, we’re more likely to just tackle the first project or task that’s within our line of sight - regardless of whether that’s where we should be placing our focus.

But despite feeling like an extra step, it turns out that taking time to plan helps us move much more swiftly through a project or through our workday.

Planning helps us shift from having a reactive mindset to being responsive.

It allows us to bring a deeper sense of focus to our work.

Try this:

Instead of moving blindly into your workday or a new project, pause and be intentional about engaging in the act of planning.

Spend a few minutes surveying your day, or thinking through the scope of a project - before you get started.

Resist the urge to dive in head first.

Even three minutes of intention-driven planning is enough to make a difference.

Go have a great workday.

Budgeting for The Unexpected

Our expectations set the tone for our workday.

They create a lens through which we view and respond to everything that happens throughout our day.

And each morning, we establish a set of expectations about what we’ll be able to accomplish, how long it will take, and how we want our day to unfold.

As we’re establishing those expectations, we tend to rely exclusively on things we can identify at that particular moment in time: projects we know we must complete, meetings we know we must attend, people we know we must contact.

But what we often fail to account for is something that always shows up in our workday: The Unexpected.

Things like new work, delays, or fire drills that we don’t know about yet - but that we can realistically say from experience will be part of our upcoming workday.

And when The Unexpected does arrive - as it almost always does - it doesn’t align with our expectations and ends up ruining the vision we had for what our day would look like.

Think about this: how often do you come into a day thinking it will go one way, and then just a few hours later it looks completely different?

This happens to us all the time and is the source of consistent frustration and anxiety.

Yet we still set our expectations for the day without accounting for The Unexpected.

Try this:

Start by adjusting your expectations.

First, as you make plans for the day, acknowledge that your day probably will not go exactly the way you envision - and know that it’s ok if it doesn’t.

Instead of trying to control the way you spend every minute, start your day by shifting your expectations to a place where you expect that your day will be impacted from the start.

Second, adjust how you plan for your day with an eye towards budgeting for The Unexpected.

In other words, leave space in your day for things you don’t know about yet but that you can anticipate, from experience, will enter it at some point.

Rather than trying to figure out how to pack more into your day, set aside pockets of time that are reserved specifically for The Unexpected. Plan fewer things back to back. Leave time unaccounted for.

Here’s what will happen when you do this:

If The Unexpected does arrive, you’ve already prepared for it and it’s less likely to have a significant impact on your mindset.

Or, if you’ve planned for The Unexpected and it never arrives, you’ll feel like you’ve been gifted a valuable window of time.

In either case, you’ll be managing your expectations instead of letting them manage you.

Go have a great workday.

Focus on small, daily wins

Consider how much time you spend each day thinking about all of the things that haven’t gone the way you would have liked.

For many of us, we exit every workday focused on what we didn’t get done.

And we spend little time throughout our day, if any, thinking about all that we did accomplish.

But it turns out that our brain is incredibly receptive to even small amounts of time spent acknowledging “wins” or things that went well during our workday.

Moments like a positive conversation with a colleague, progress made on an important project, or someone who expressed satisfaction with your work.

The science behind how our minds work tells us that focusing on small wins - even for just a couple of minutes a day - helps build momentum, improves confidence, and leads to a more fulfilling workday.

Try this:

Spend just a few minutes at the end of each workday identifying things that went well for you.

Think about someone you were able to help, a project you tied up, a low energy point you overcame, or win (big or small) you experienced.

Share those wins with significant others, colleagues or roommates - reliving those moments helps to cultivate a new way to think about your day.

Also take time to ask those same people what went well for them, too.

This simple practice will help gradually shift your focus from the things you didn’t accomplish to a state of appreciation for the things that you did.

It’s these types of small wins, stacked up day after day, that lead to the most impactful changes.

Go have a great workday.

What if it turns out better than I think?

Consider how often your thoughts about a future event could be considered “limiting beliefs.”

In other words, when we think about what might happen in the future, we often end up seeing those events through the lens of what will go wrong.

Our mind is skilled at turning our thoughts about a future version of events into a story about what might happen if we fail or are criticized.

Our mind uses this story-telling ability as a survival mechanism because these kinds of stories help keep us safe and prevent us from taking risks.

When you envision something you want to do in the future - pursuing a new opportunity, a new career, a new challenge - your mind is good at collecting all the reasons why it won’t go the way you want it to go.

This thought pattern leads to talking ourselves out of opportunities, avoiding changes, or holding back our true intentions.

The stories make us fearful, and keep us nice and safe.

Try this:

When you catch your mind playing out all the reasons why a future version of events won’t go the way you want, ask this question:

What if it turns out better than I think?

Asking this question helps you start to flip from playing a highlight reel of how it won’t go well to focusing on the many reasons why it could and will.

By clearing out the limiting beliefs, you make space for your confidence and innate talents to rise to the surface.

Instead of hiding away and being scared of what might happen, you start to shift toward being the best version of yourself.

When your mind isn’t busy telling you how poorly things will go, and when you aren’t paralyzed by fear and anticipation, it allows you to show up in the moment and do your best work.

When I teach this concept, some people immediately say: “Well I get it, but I don’t want to get my hopes up about the future because I might be disappointed.”

And my response is: Why would you not get your hopes up?

Getting your hopes up and envisioning things going the way you want is exactly the type of thinking that helps you show up at your best in those moments.

If you’re constantly showing up with low hopes, how do you think you’re going to perform?

You always have an option to decide what you want that future version of events to look like.

So why not tell yourself a story that has this future event turning out the way you want?

Why not envision things turning out better than you think?

Go have a great workday.

Walking the line

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to walk a perfect line. 

We’re constantly seeking a perfect balance between two competing desires or interests.

We try to walk the line between work and play, responsible and irresponsible, planned and spontaneous, taking care of others and ourselves.

But when we focus too much on trying to walk a perfect line, we lose sight of what it means to be in the moment and experience what’s happening right now. 

We question whether we should be doing more or less, working harder or resting, taking more action or exercising patience.   

We get caught up in believing that other people are walking it perfectly, and that they’re judging us because we’re not. 

But focusing on the line robs us of our ability to be present and understand what we need.

The truth is that we rarely experience what it’s like to walk that perfect line. 

Instead, life is a series of natural shifts that take us back and forth from one side of the line to the other. 

And even when we do experience a moment of “perfection,” that moment only lasts so long.

Try this: 

Instead of moving through your day focused on how to walk a perfect line, consider how you might shift your mindset toward accepting where you are in this moment, judgment free. 

A good place to start is by identifying one area where you might be unfairly asking yourself to “walk the line.” 

Then ask: “How can I start to pay less attention to the line and pay more attention to the state of my mindset?” Practices like meditation or quiet time help us recognize when we’re caught up in trying to do things perfectly.  

Orientation is important. Striving for a midline and a sense of balance is necessary and grounding. 

If you do believe you’ve strayed too far to one side, focus on how can you course correct gradually and without judgment towards a steadier center.

This will help you shift from being preoccupied with walking the line to a place where you have the awareness to evaluate what you actually need right now. 

The answer is usually on one side of the line or the other.  

Go have a great workday.

First thought, second thought, first action

Our thoughts are the drivers for the actions we take.

If we want to set important changes into motion, it begins with changing the way we think.

While this sounds simple in theory, we know from experience how challenging this concept can be to put into practice.

We’re influenced by years of experiences, beliefs, and emotions that shape our thought patterns.

And unwinding old thought patterns takes time and consistent practice.

One way to gradually influence the direction of your thoughts is to practice a concept called first thought, second thought, first action.

Here’s how it works.

We generally don’t have control over the first thought that comes to mind.

If I ask you to not think of a big yellow elephant, it’s hard to stop yourself from calling an image of one to mind.

But while we generally don’t have control over our first thought, we can influence our second thought and the first action we take.

In other words, you can decide to have a second thought that suits you better and align the first action you take with that new thought.

The most powerful part of this concept is that, when practiced, we gradually realize that no matter what our initial thought is we always have the ability to shape the way we respond to anything that happens.

Regardless of that first thought, our second thought and first action are always a choice we get to make.

We begin to understand that we can become a more active participant in shaping the trajectory of our day because we always have the ability to choose a response.

Try this:

The initial step in flipping your thoughts is the ability to catch yourself experiencing a thought that doesn’t suit you.

Consider looking for moments throughout your day to take a “self-inventory.”

Take stock of whether interactions you’ve had or situations you’ve encountered are causing thoughts that don’t suit you to linger.

Acknowledge that it’s ok for you to have any of them as your first thought, and decide what you want your second thought and first action to be.

Remember: you have the innate power and ability to train yourself to think differently.

Go have a great workday.